Sometimes as a mom, you have to laugh to keep yourself from crying. So here we have, “you might be a mom if….”
You have smelled or licked something to find out if it was chocolate or poop.
You are no longer phased by saying or reading the word “poop.”
You resort to using your toddler’s phrases for words such as “chippies” for chips or “nummies” for M&Ms.
You try to find a parking spot at the store next to the cart drop off instead of one super close to the door.
You’re emotionally invested in the character arcs of Daniel Tiger and Curious George.
You’re playing ‘peek-a-boo’ in the car window while you’re pumping gas, and don’t care about the weird looks you get from other people.
You refer to yourself as “mommy” in public, when your kids aren’t around.
You haven’t had a hot meal in years, since you’re too busy cutting everyone else’s food and running around.
A 7:30 wake up call is sleeping-in.
You hide candy strategically around your house to get you through the day.
You pop a half-eaten ice cream cone in your mouth like it’s nothing.
You use your kid’s clothes as a tissue.
You have become an expert translator in explaining what your toddler is saying.
You’ve picked many noses that aren’t your own.
You’ve wiped many butts that aren’t your own.
You’ve had to tell your children ridiculous things like “don’t eat the cat food” or “no you can’t stand on top of the car.”
You love your kids so much you want to SQUISH THEM.
You’ve flashed more people while nursing than you care to admit.
You’ve tried and have a favorite baby food flavor.
You can change a diaper in your sleep, which you do frequently in the middle of the night.
You can tell exactly what your child is doing in the next room based on the sounds, or lack of sounds.
You can quote every line of Frozen.
Your muscles are impressive simply from carrying grocery bags, a toddler, toys, and a diaper bag.
You have an extensive comparison chart for legging brands because that’s all you wear.
You can shower in 2.5 minutes because that’s the most time you can squeeze in.
You dance and clap after you shut the door on a napping child.
You wish they made all the clothes you buy for your kids in your size.
You can whip into mama bear mode in 1 second if someone pushes your child at the park.
You have 7,000 photos on your phone that are either photos they took when they stole your phone, or pictures of them doing something cute.
You get the feeling of being so frustrated and tired of your kids, and missing them and loving them at the exact same time.
Maddy Low is the proud mama of a little boy named Graham who she is absolutely obsessed with. She graduated with a degree in communication from Brigham Young University, and works full time from home doing web content and web design. She’s been married to her high school sweetheart since 2015, loves writing, traveling, long walks through the aisles at Target, chocolate, and connecting with other moms.
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