I was organizing some old photos on my phone while my 1.5 year old was sitting on my lap. I browsed through every period of my life. I skimmed through my wedding photos, the birth of my son, and scrolled all the way to photos from when my husband and I were dating. I stopped on a photo of my husband. He was my fiance then. He was a young 23 years old. He sent me a selfie after a long day of work doing construction on the other side of the country.
I began to reminisce how hard that period of time was. I remember daydreaming of us finally being married and moving into a place of our own. I daydreamed of learning how to cook, and raising little babies.
I stared at that photo for a while, and soaked in all those memories– the good and the bad. All of a sudden, my baby interrupted my focus when I heard “Dada?” I didn’t realize he had stopped what he was doing and was also staring at the photo with me.
That one little world struck me to my core: I was living the life I had daydreamed for. Here I was with my beautiful baby.
I wish I could go back and tell that young naive girl that being engaged to someone who lived thousands of miles away would be the least of her worries. I wish I could tell her that she accomplished her goal of having a family, and that her baby was the most beautiful boy in the world. I wish I could have prepared her for her moments of solitude during this trying self-quarantine period of her life.
But I can’t.
HIndsight really is 20/20.
I have always resonated with that expression. Isn’t it fitting that this taxing year is also 2020? We are concerned for our elderly loved ones contracting COVID-19. We are anxious about going to the grocery store to buy milk and bread. We are praying for our first-responders and caregivers.
We are all experiencing adversity.
But, use the year 2020 as a reminder to yourself that soon your trials and challenges will be in your rear-view mirror. Just as you got through every hard day before you– you can get through this. Tell your future self what you have had to tell your past self. You can and you will overcome, and you will rise up. Think of your growth and your blessings. Examine your relationships and realize that you are loved and you have worth.
“Hindsight is 2020” refers to the visual clarity and complete understanding once we have already experienced something.
I hope you receive the clarity you need for your own personal 2020. Hang in there, Mama.
Briana is a stay-at-home mama to a busy one-year-old boy. When not wrangling her toddler, she’s probably eating Cafe Rio or watching The Office with her husband. Actually, she’s definitely doing both; and definitely at the same time. She can be found at @bribrooksy on instagram!
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