By far, the most common phrase I find myself saying is “One day’. So this blog feels more like a personal entry to myself. This habit is something I have always struggled with and need to work on. Sometimes writing a letter or blog entry just for yourself can be therapeutic and help you realize just where you can improve. I know I’m not alone in this. So I’m hoping there is someone out there who can benefit from what I have to say here.
Do any of these sound familiar? One day I’ll have a bigger house. One day I’ll have a flatter stomach. One day I’ll have it all together. One day my difficult child will be out of this rough phase. One day I’ll have a clean house, a bigger car, a nicer wardrobe, a working Christmas tree, a laundry room on the same level, more confidence, time for myself…one day, one day, one day.
Having a ‘One Day’ mentality has not done me any favors at all. It has not made any of these wishes happen any faster. Actually, I believe that it has done nothing but build a deeper anxiety inside of me. The ‘One Day’ mentality has been a curse that I’ve burdened myself with for as long as I can remember.
Don’t we all do it though? Long for a future so different than our current situation – because there seems to be a happier version of ourselves living in that ‘One Day’ alternate universe that seems so far out of reach. Perhaps recognizing that it’s our present that matters, will ease these pressures we put on ourselves about the future.
A huge part of it is comparison. We focus probably too much on those around us. We see that they have those things that live in our ‘One Day’ universe. Why do they always seem to have it easier than us? Why do they get to be so much happier than us? A cliche indeed – but comparison is undoubtedly the thief of joy. What we don’t see – what isn’t lying on the surface is the hard work, the tears, sweat and sacrifices that went into the things our peers and family members have. We don’t see that at some point they too were cursed with that ‘one day’ mentality. They too had to work to get those things we long for.
I love this quote from Rupi Kaur. “You do not just wake up and become the butterfly. Growth is a process.”
Of course, we cannot always help our anxieties, but constantly thinking and longing for a future that isn’t even here yet – and may never be – causes unnecessary pressure and stress. Getting to where we desire to be requires growth – which is indeed a process. But if we are always hoping for that ‘one day’ when everything may or may not fall into place, we are preventing happiness in our current state.
Yes, of course, have goals and dreams. But cut yourself some slack. Nothing is going to happen with the snap of a finger. Nothing is going to happen unless we spend many days working for it. One day takes A LOT of days.
Plan and prepare for ‘one day’, but love yourself and let yourself be happy this day. Take a step to where you need and want to be – but try and focus on that one step. Don’t let today slip away wishing for ‘one day’. Because once ‘one day’ arrives – you’ll wish you didn’t miss out on right now.
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