Do you ever have those friends you just love the moment you meet them? You might have nothing in common but for some reason you just get each other? Today’s Monday Mama is Jaycie. This girl speaks to me. She is one of the strongest girls I’ve ever met. Life hasn’t always given her a field of roses but she knows how to throw up some fists and fight it right back. Nothing gets her down. She always has a good attitude, is so strong, and has the best sense of humor (and sarcasm đ ). I truly do love this girl and am excited for you all to hear her story on motherhood.
“Iâm Jaycie. My baby is Henley Shaye. I work as a substitute teacher and Iâm going to school full-time to be a ceramics and English teacher. My baby turned one this week, and I feel a massive sense of relief that weâve made it, but also a little bit of sadness that my baby is growing up so fast. I wrote a letter to myself of some of the things I wish Iâd known a year ago. Enjoy! đ
âHi, Mama,â your doctor will say, holding up a tiny, screaming baby, brand new to the world. Itâll hit you then. You are a mom and itâs not just you anymore. You knew this was going to happen, of course, but it will really hit you when he says it. Youâve been worried about silly things up to now. Which bottles to use, moby vs. solly wraps, what brand of diapers are best, but now the focus will change since you have a real, live, breathing human.
Nearly three weeks early, your water will break at 4:17 a.m. Boy, will she make you wait for it though. She wonât be born for 17 hours and 14 minutes, which will feel like eternity. Youâll find that sheâs like that though, certain sheâs ready early, but then she gets nervous and takes her time with things. Sheâll have chubby cheeks that will hold the only fat on her body, and a little bit of dark hair. Sheâll be a whopping six pounds, one ounce and from the moment sheâs placed in your arms, youâll never be the same.
With all the crying and pooping will come more love than you ever knew existed. With all that love will be fear. Will you be enough for this girl? Her father kicked you out while you were pregnant and youâve done this all on your own. Now, thereâs a fresh, screaming baby counting on you. Youâll be determined though, and youâll vow to create a good life for your girl. You wonât know it for awhile, but you will be fine.
At first, all youâll do is stare at this beautiful, brand new little baby. Itâs amazing, that such a miracle came from you. You made her from scratch and her face will never get old to you, no matter how long stare at her. Youâll miss plenty of sleep, staying up late into the night just to take it all in. Youâll memorize her face, her hands, her feet, and the way she smiles in her sleep. All the memorization in the world wonât help you though, because sheâll change before your eyes.
Those first few months are magical, but also extremely tough and youâll constantly think, âI definitely wasnât ready for this. Iâm still not ready for this.â The newness and awe will dull a little, and youâll be left with the fear that you actually have no idea what youâre doing. Youâll work out a routine though, and soon the time will start to fly.
The nights will seem endless. It will be 3AM and your baby will be awake. Youâll both cry because youâre exhausted. It will feel like foreverâ youâll be convinced that youâll be permanently stuck in this sleep-deprived life. But youâll wake up one day and realize your baby has slept through the night and youâll miss that time that was just for the two of you, late at night when nothing in the world was better than holding that precious, sweet baby.
Within three months, youâll be forty pounds below your pre-pregnancy weight. Everything will revolve around your sweet girl: feeding her, napping with her, playing with her, you get the idea. Youâll forget to eat and you will forget that you need attention too. Eventually you will get sick. Physically, the stress of caring for a newborn without any fuel catches up to you. But youâll humble yourself and ask for help. Itâs an important lesson youâll learn: you need to make sure to take care of you too. You also need to ask for help when you need it.
Youâll get fired from your job over a silly mistake. All at once youâll realize you arenât invincible. Youâll be completely terrified and for awhile, youâll be stuck in the unknown as you scramble to make ends meet. On a whim, youâll take a job as a substitute teacher and decide you need to get a degree and do this for real. Youâll apply to school and move fives hours away to make it work.
Too soon, youâll realize that sweet baby can hold her head up and look around herself. Next, sheâll hold up her bottle, then grasp small toys. Youâll be so proud of her and watch in amazement at how quickly she learns, but there will be a little ache in your heart that she doesnât need you as much as she used to. Youâll blink again and sheâll be sitting up by herself, content to play with her toys alone for awhile.
As she holds up her arms for you across the room and cries for the fifth or sixth time within an hour, youâll go to her, thinking, âI canât wait until you can crawl.â Then she will crawl and youâll find yourself longing for that tiny baby that cried for you instead of following you around, pulling at your legs constantly, begging you to pick her up.
As youâre changing the millionth diaper, youâll think, âI wonder if youâll ever roll over and crawl away while Iâm trying to do this.â The next day, she will, smearing a little poop into the carpet as she goes. Youâll laugh, and chase after her, horrified hours later when you realize thereâs poop you didnât notice smeared all over your leg too.
Sheâll get sick a couple times and as you hold her close to comfort her, youâll look longingly at the pile of homework you have, concerned with the deadlines. But babies donât keep and you canât have this time back, so hold her close while you can. Your professors will understand and work with you if you ask for their help.
After crawling, she will learn to pull herself up onto things and then sheâll cry for you because sheâs stuck. But soon, sheâll learn to get down too and youâll watch in wonder and awe as she explores the world all by herself. There will be another little pang in your heart that sheâs getting so big.
Youâll take a lot of crap from people about letting her sleep with you, from strangers, friends, and family alike. Youâll be a sucker though and sheâll learn that crying in the night and morning means going to Mamaâs bed to cuddle. In the morning when you wake up to get ready, sheâll take over more of the bed, and youâll have to stop and pause, shaking your head at this little wonder who completely owns your heart, toes digging into your butt and all.
Sheâll put everything in her mouth. Shoes, clothes, make-up, toes, and sometimes real food. At first youâll worry that sheâs going to catch all sorts of yucky illness, but eventually youâll calm down. When strangers look at you, appalled that sheâs sucking on the cart handle, youâll shrug and say, âI wiped it down, but germs will build her immune system.â
Congratulations, Mama! Sheâs a year old and you made it through the longest, hardest year of your life. With it, youâve grown confident. Until you see the other one-year-olds. Theyâre already walking, talking, are being potty trained, and speak fluently. Your girl is still crawling and only knows, âMama,â âYum,â and, âNo.â Youâll be sure itâs because youâre not reading to her enough, but sheâll get there soon too. Youâre doing your best. Itâs only been a year, but please know, the clock will not slow down.
Enjoy the laughing and all her phases. Youâll continuously think, âThis is my favorite phase.â Over and over, youâll think this. When she starts to smile all the time, as she learns to sit up, as she starts to giggle. When she learns to play peek-a-boo will be a true favorite, but there will always be a new, fun phase waiting.
It will keep getting better and better, Mama. The love will grow. Your baby girl will grow. And you will grow too, in ways you never dreamed you would. Keep going, because you are enough.
There are only two things you need to ask yourself when you start to fear. Firstly, is your girl happy? She certainly isnât worried that sheâs not walking yet, so you shouldnât either.
The second question will hit you a little deeper. Are you happy, Mama? If youâre doing all you can for your girl and taking time for your needs too, your baby will see that and learn from you how to grow and be happy too. She doesnât need to learn how to read before she leaves for Kindergarten. Theyâll teach her that. But if she knows sheâs loved by a mama whoâs doing her best, sheâll already know all the important stuff.
Soak up every single minute you can with your little one, Mama. Before you know it she wonât be little anymore. Ignore the people who try to give you advice that doesnât mesh well with what you want for your little one. They mean well, but you know best. After all, youâve gotten this far, so youâre obviously onto something!”
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So cute! And it’s crazy how much mothers sacrifice for their children, like food! đ
So cute! And it’s crazy how much mothers sacrifice for their children, like food! đ
this is so sweet!
this is so sweet!
Love this especially the end. Thanks for sharing!
Love this especially the end. Thanks for sharing!
I’m sure this rings true for all the mamas out there… What a beautiful journey!
I’m sure this rings true for all the mamas out there… What a beautiful journey!
Jaycie! You are a straight up power house and legit amazing. Thank you for such a down to earth and honest post that is so clearly full of love!!
Jaycie! You are a straight up power house and legit amazing. Thank you for such a down to earth and honest post that is so clearly full of love!!
Jaycie. I love this. And I love you. xoxoxo
Jaycie. I love this. And I love you. xoxoxo
Man this totally tugged at my heart. Yes, they do grow up so so fast so soak up EVERY moment, the good ones and the bad ones, because they will all be missed once she’s all grown up and started a family of her own. Love this story. Going to wipe my tears and blow my nose. đ
Linh
http://abeautifulrawr.com
Man this totally tugged at my heart. Yes, they do grow up so so fast so soak up EVERY moment, the good ones and the bad ones, because they will all be missed once she’s all grown up and started a family of her own. Love this story. Going to wipe my tears and blow my nose. đ
Linh
http://abeautifulrawr.com