The second my alarm goes off so does my brain. It starts to list every human being that has needs, and then my mind tries to figure out how to meet all their needs in that day. The needs of my children, my husband, my friends, my sister, my mother, and my father. Those that are in my home, I check up on. I make sure they are okay. Once I know they are doing okay, I move on to those outside my home, texting, calling, making sure those who have come to me are doing well, making sure they know I am still here and able to help them in whatever it may be. I find myself so proud of my words, as I am helping others, especially mothers! I feel like I’ve got helping others down, but helping myself is something I’ve put on a back burner for too long…and it’s showing.
It’s time to put mama first.
I’ve learned that meeting everyone’s needs in one day doesn’t always have to be mandatory. However, making sure we are taking care of ourselves is mandatory. Do you ever find yourself just stuck on the couch or in bed while the kiddos are out and about destroying something in the house?! Yup! Me too!
So, it’s time for us to get up and get out! It’s time for us to get up before the kiddos, get in a shower, do our make up, get ready for the day, go for a jog, do a little dance workout, whatever it may be, do something for YOU before the other’s wake up. Put in your mind, that you come first. It may be the only thing you can get done for yourself today, so make it happen!
Another thing I’ve learned as a mother is that we are expected to meet the needs of everyone, yet no one is expected to meet our needs. Or maybe they don’t even see we have needs?
Sheesh. No wonder we are all losing it!
The easiest way to solve this is communication. We have to learn how to speak of our needs. We’ve got magical brains. We can pick up the needs of others without even speaking to them. There have been many times I’ve exploded, and then I sit down and explain to my kids my needs. Simple needs such as stop complaining when you’re doing chores or not talking to mom like she is a jerk right after she picks you up from school. Once I speak to them, they understand and truly try to help.
Husbands, I don’t know what it is, but I personally struggled asking my husband for help in the past. Obviously I can’t do it alone, though, so I’m learning to ask and he’s learning to notice my needs as well. If I’m texting him about a frustrating day, he will send me to Target alone. If I am grumpy by the end of the day, he will get the kiddo’s to sleep and let me just have a calm evening before bed. We shouldn’t feel embarrassed to ask for help, it’s not just our job to raise little humans and meet everyone’s needs.
Our needs are just as important and they need to be met as well. Mama’s need to be humans first. We need to have our own identity. We need to take care of us too. We need to have needs and stop pushing them aside. Look in the mirror and tell that mama stranger looking back at you your needs. Tell her your struggles, your goals, your fears. Then, do what you do best, and give her your expertise advice. That same advice you’d give a friend in need. The advice that your friends would come back and praise you for.
Now, this next part is the hardest: follow through. Follow through with that advice and do what you told that mama in the mirror to do. Follow through, so she can find herself again. She deserves to be heard, to be seen, and to be first.
I’m Mama Jess! Little bit about me; I got married at 18, to my high school sweetheart! We were both born and raised in Salem, Oregon. He was a legit gangster in our town, and I was a tiny lds nerdy girl. Heavenly Father sure had a plan of his own. Luckily we followed along! We got married in the Portland Temple the spring after I graduated, I was a young 18 years old. We had kiddos right away, so I did online school, and I graduated with my bachelors degree from BYU-Idaho! We live in Oregon with our FIVE kiddos, and our two angel babies in heaven watching over us. ???? We’ve got 3 boys and two girls. We love music and the beach, play any music song and our entire clan will be loudly adding their own vocals! Our life is crazy busy, and chaotic, but I wouldn’t change a thing! I’m a blessed mama.
designed by Michelle gifford creative
powered by Showit
We’re excited you are here, and we love you! Our hope is that we can keep this place uplifting for all types of moms in all seasons of life! So when you have 2 seconds, we hope you'll make some friends, kick back, and stay awhile!