One thing they never told me was how hard it would be to watch my babies grow up.
I always dreamed of being a mom. Growing up, it always seemed like it was something futuristic. Almost like it would never happen, but here I am a real life mom. I love it so much, more than I ever could have expected. I love it so much that while watching my kids reach new milestones brings me an immense sense of joy, it also brings with it a small dose of pain.
Those first steps of my first born. We worked so hard for them. She was a late walker, and she refused to walk. Crawling got her where she wanted to go just fine, so she didn’t see the need. She took her first real steps on the 4th of July, and it was magical. I was so proud of her, but with each of those steps I saw part of my little baby disappear.
She became a sister. We are so happy to be the parents of two! Having two little girls fifteen and a half months apart just seems right for us. The first time Neeley met Lucy was beautiful. But with it, my firstborn baby got a little bigger.
The day we came home from the hospital as a family of four was so special. It was incredible to be together, just the four of us. The first week was magical, but each time I looked at my firstborn I thought, “ how did she grow so much over the three days we were in the hospital?” And I was happy, but it hurt my heart, just a little, to see that little baby becoming a toddler.
Today I walked into my firstborn’s room to find that one of her binkis had been completely bitten in two! I was panicked thinking of all the worst case scenarios, and with that concern came sadness realizing that another milestone had been forced upon me way before I was ready. We said goodbye to the binkis today, and with it, I said goodbye to another little portion of my daughter’s babyhood. I wasn’t ready, but there it was again, another one of those joyfully painful milestones.
My second is growing up faster than I ever could have imagined. She’s on her way to crawling and it’s all happening right in front of my eyes. Seeing her personality develop is one of the biggest privilege of my life, but sometimes I wish I could pause a moment and truly breathe it in. While the days oftentimes become long and mundane in motherhood, the moments seem to disappear almost instantly. I’ve learned its okay to briefly, for a moment, grieve the passage of time and babyhood. Love fiercely. Take no second for granted. Hug tight. Laugh loudly. And allow yourself to experience motherhood in its entirety.
You are loved beautiful,
Lacey is a young stay-at-home mama of two little girls. She enjoys all things outdoors including, kayaking, hiking, and camping (but only in an RV). She graduated with her Bachelor’s degree in Marriage and Family Studies, and loves learning about how relationships function. She lives for spending free time with her husband, Hunter, having late night chats, and enjoying life’s little moments.
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