I am in the middle of complete chaos at my house, thinking about how there are not enough hours in the day to complete my mental list of tasks. How could we have possibly been up for 3 hours already? More importantly, what am I going to make Emma for lunch? The dinging noise from my cell phone in the kitchen is alerting me for the texts and emails that I know I’m going to look at only to immediately forget about. I’m hearing the catchy theme song from Doc McStuffins for possibly the fourth time this morning.
As I try to grasp the first half of my day, I can feel the flare up of my frustration as I deal with the tantrums of my three-year-old and my teething baby. Has anyone noticed how unforgiving a toddler can be sometimes? I should just create a voice recording of myself saying “No” at this point so that I can hit replay instead of wasting my breath.
My usually sweet baby girl has been crying for what seems like hours at this point. Shame on me if I even attempt at putting her down. Teething is the epitome of evil, I swear.
Finally, I reach for my phone and there is a text from my husband that reads, “how are my girls?” It is a toss up on whether I want to lie and say “We are having fun!” or just simply put “fine” in hopes he gets my drift. This particular morning though, I voiced some of my anxieties. Specifically, how Taylor was attached to my hip, in turn holding me back from my daily responsibilities.
“Oh no, I feel so bad for her” was his response. Hitting me like a ton of bricks, I reread that text a couple more times. “Oh no, I feel so bad for her”. The next text from my husband read, “I feel bad for you too.” While I know he meant both of those sentences, only one of them led me to reflect back on my day thus far.
My newborn is in pain and she is leaning on me for comfort and all I wanted to do was get ahead in my day. Can you imagine what it must be like to have teeth break through your gums and then not be able to express your discomfort in any other way except tears? That goes for any distress a baby feels. She needs me to console her with hugs and kisses. She needs to hear my voice telling her it is going to be okay. She may need me to rock her to sleep today. Those and more should be my daily duties and everything else can follow.
Meanwhile, my unforgiving toddler I mentioned earlier pulls me aside to tell me she is “sorry for making me mad”. I literally sat there trying to think about what she was apologizing for and I couldn’t come up with one cause for her admission of guilt. Sure, she asked for too many things and questioned just about everything but she didn’t actually do anything wrong. I was wrong. I quickly pulled her on my lap, hugging her tight and apologized to her.
You guys, we are the parents. We are the center of their days. We are the ones they bring questions, requests and fears to whether they are voiced in words or in cries.
Being a mother is the greatest gift I was ever given. A gift that I will remember to treasure better on those difficult days. And trust me when I say I have, ever since I read that text message from my husband.
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