One day I was sitting in my in-laws living room, when my brief moment of relaxation was interrupted by my toddler grabbing my hand and pulling on my finger desperately trying to get me to follow her. I was so tired and sitting for a moment felt so good to me, but I chose to follow my little auburn-haired babe to the nursery to play for a few moments. She quickly began sorting through the bin of toys searching for her favorite stuffed animal and something new to entertain herself. As she shuffled things around, I just sat and watched her. I started thinking about how beautiful, fantastic, hilarious, sweet, kind, and original she is to me. I didn’t see the tantrums, the angry yells, or the moments she threw things in frustration. I only saw my precious, and perfect-to-me little girl. Suddenly I was overcome with how much I love and admire that tiny little human. It was so deep, and so profound, the kind that strikes directly to the soul. And then came the thought, “Is that how much you love me?”
It suddenly became incomprehensible to think that someone as perfect as God could love someone as imperfect as me. Could He really look at me and see someone who is beautiful, fantastic, hilarious, sweet, kind, and original despite all the imperfections I undoubtably had?
And then I started thinking about how I see myself. When I thought of myself, I almost always saw more of my faults than my strengths. I saw my struggles rather than my triumphs. I saw my “tantrums” rather than the qualities that made me lovable. I wasn’t allowing myself to see ME the way that I saw my daughter; and in that moment, I realized that I had attached SO MANY things to my worth that really didn’t matter. Countless times I have found myself scrolling through social media seeing hundreds, maybe even thousands of other beautiful women who are so different from me. They all have different body types, hair colors, interests, talents, goals, passions, responsibilities, and dreams. I looked at them and could think of so many reasons why each of them was beautiful, fantastic, hilarious, sweet, and original. Then suddenly I find myself looking at me. What did I see in myself?
I know myself so well. I see myself in every moment of every day. I see myself when I am frustrated with my toddler for pushing her cup of yogurt on the freshly mopped floor. I see myself when I’m exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open, but my baby needs me. I see myself first thing in the morning with my matted hair and unbrushed teeth. I see myself when I am kind to a friend who really needed someone today. I see myself when I am being genuinely me and dancing and singing in the kitchen in my messy bun. I see myself when I am completely joyful looking into the eyes of my child. I see my best and worst moments. But do I ever stop to see my immeasurable worth?
Many of us have mistakenly attached OUR WORTH to having a certain body type, hair color, interest, talent, goal, passion, responsibility, or dream. Our deep, real worth never changes no matter what we believe. It is unwavering. If we could look at ourselves in the same way we look at our children, we would be amazed and awe struck by who we are, where we have come from, and the goals we can achieve. If your house is a mess, you have worth. If you burnt dinner, you have worth. If you cried in your pantry, you have worth. If you had the best day ever, you have worth. If you have anxiety, depression, or none of those at all, YOU HAVE WORTH.
We are all different, and we are all equally beautiful, fantastic, hilarious, original, and awe inspiring in completely different ways. We each have potential and can achieve our goals. Your worth never waivers, regardless of how your day went or what you are experiencing. You are amazing. You are enough. Love yourself. Your worth never lessens.
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