Allow Yourself to Feel

By: Haili Hunter

We’ve all heard it. Or, well, maybe you haven’t. So, let me tell you what I have heard several times before, “it’s ok to feel. It’s ok to stay in those feelings for more than a moment. Let yourself feel what you are feeling.” I guess I can’t really speak for anybody else because I have not walked in your shoes, but maybe some of you can relate.

Personally, when I am having a hard time and feel overwhelmed, stressed, sad, or hurt, I try and ignore those feelings and move on without acknowledging them. I tell myself I don’t have time for them or I am embarrassed. Many times, as a mother, I feel I need to be everything good for my children, and they need me to be happy all the time. I ignore my own inner emotional struggles, pushing them deep down inside, in favor of putting on a smile.

This works for a time, and I can go on with my daily routine. But those feelings that were shoved aside and not dealt with don’t just go away. Sometimes without us knowing, they build and build in the background until one day they rise again to the surface and it becomes too much.

We crack.

I have had such moments, usually behind closed doors because I was too embarrassed to be seen by anybody. I would fall to my knees and sob. I would plead with my Heavenly Father to help me with whatever it was I was facing. Sometimes though, it was too much. I had bottled it up for so long I wouldn’t even know, really, what was wrong.

It took time. A long time. For me, there were many deep and heartfelt prayers, weekly trips to my church’s local temple, and a very patient and loving husband for me to come back to myself again.

I look back and think how much I grew from that time in my life, but I’ve also learned there’s a better way. When we feel these hard feelings we need to feel them.

We need to take our time and slow down and allow ourselves to really think about what we are feeling. What is going to be the best way for us to work through them? Often times it requires asking for help. Especially as a mother, if you are married, we need to lean on our husbands for help. If you are single, call in a good friend or family member. And honestly, if you feel you don’t have anybody, look to somebody you follow on social media. There are so many good hearted women who want other mothers to feel uplifted and would be glad to lend an ear.

What’s important is first, we admit something is bothering us, and second, we find the time to acknowledge our own feelings. Please mamas, allow yourself to feel.