Where Is My “Mamahood Manual”?!

February 2, 2015 in Love Notes

I don’t know about you, but being a mom has brought so many emotions to the table that I didn’t even know existed! Trista has some awesome insight for us today!!

“Think about your little baby. Reminisce to the special, or perhaps unexpected, moment when you first found out you were pregnant…. I remember that feeling like it was yesterday!! I felt anxiety, joy, worry, excitement, doubt, exhaustion, happiness, and again… anxiety!  We live in such an amazing world with so much information available, but how do you know how to parent, sleep train, vaccinate, feed, play, and teach these little humans?

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Being a mom is one of the most special things we can do as women, and there are so many different, but right ways to do it. Fulfilling the “calling” as a mom isn’t as easy, or as simple as I have thought. These kids don’t come with a standard manual, or a manual at all for that matter. It’s all up to each of us individually to decide what is best for our children and families.

Due to the blessing of social media, many of our personal decisions are made public. We have the unique opportunity to be shammed or judged for so many aspects of our life that wouldn’t have even been considered in years past.

I am sure (unfortunately) we all have experiences where we have felt judged or shammed by another mom or a stranger at the store. And to those that have felt that shame, or have shammed, it’s a tragedy. Nothing feels more personal than an attack on the way you have chosen to be a mother.

I remember feeling shammed for a few different things, one of which was while I was at the beloved Target doing my daily run (yeah, I’ve got a problem), and the cashier made a comment about how my baby, who was 13 months at the time, was “too young to be drinking from a sippy cup and should be only drinking mom’s milk”. She had no idea that for the first two months I cried at the beginning of most breastfeeding sessions and ended up pumping for the following 10 months because unknown to me, my baby had a tongue-tie and couldn’t latch. I had no choice but to exclusively pump, and at times supplement with formula.

I had struggled with the idea that I wasn’t as good of a mom because I couldn’t have that “bond” with my baby. I felt like he was potentially missing out because of something I wasn’t doing. I met with a lactation consultant, a pediatric chiropractor and a dentist to cut the tongue-tie. None of these efforts made a difference, and I had come to peace with that long before this encounter. However, her comments brought back all my insecurities and it was everything I could do to not cry right there in the checkout line.

My point… We all know what it’s like to feel like we are being judged by others. Everyone has felt these wounds inflicted by others insecurities or lack of understanding. We are all trying our best. What is right for one family, may not be best for another.  We are all so individual, so it’s no surprise that our parenting styles differ. That is one of the greatest things about The Mamahood. The women here, and the reach we have is incredible! We all have such varying opinions, and can have healthy discussion without being disrespectful. I see so much good being done for others, and it simply motivates me to be a higher and better me! I love the information we each bring to the table, and I hope everyone feels enough confidence that we can share without being “shammed”.  I’m so grateful we have such a good pool of people here to draw information from! From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for being incredible mamas!

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