BUMPDATE: Halfway!

May 1, 2017 in Baby / Lifestyle

I can’t believe we are already passed our halfway point in this pregnancy! I can’t keep track of how many weeks I am, but I think I’m almost 24 this week! This pregnancy has flown by but also gone by slow too. With this pregnancy I gained weight really fast at the very beginning. The thing with going through a couple miscarriages, surgeries, etc. is you can’t work out constantly because of wait/healing time. And since I wasn’t working out constantly the only thing I can do right now is walk. (Why is it when you can’t work out you really want to and when you can you really don’t?!) I’m just feeling so so grateful to have a healthy baby inside of me. It’s worth every extra pound and double chin! ūüėČ

To be honest, these updates will mostly be for me to keep track of. So if you read on, you’ll be seeing the good and the ugly. ha! Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

 

Baby Size: My app says a husk of corn? I’ve been measuring big though from the beginning so not sure if that’s accurate.

Weight gain: 16 pounds

Sleep: Not so good. I have back pain that keeps me tossing and turning all night. The only thing saving me is my pregnancy pillow!

Cravings: pickles + pickle juice will always sounds good to me! I also crave my protein PB and chocolate shakes I make every morning. (milk, cocoa, PB, Chia seed, protein powder (I use pea seed protein), banana, Oats, ice)

Feeling: My first pregnancy with R I felt very level and life was a dream. This pregnancy my hormones are a little all over the place. I’m sure I’m a little more dramatic then usual. My husband cracked an inside joke the other day and I started laughing (harder than anyone knows how to laugh) and then 2 seconds later burst into tears getting offended by the joke! haha! I was a hott mess.

Peak Moment: When Ryd got to feel her kick. He wants nothing else than to make her laugh already. He does dances in front of my belly to make her laugh. I love him so much.

Body changes: Oh the crazy things pregnancy does sometimes!¬†My hands are so dry and itchy again. But I mostly just pee my pants every single day. Without fail. They don’t joke when they say when you have more children you really can’t hold it in!

Doctor/Health Update: Everything looked normal in the 20 week ultrasound. I seriously cry during every healthy heartbeat they can find. Just so grateful. I’m still doing my Lovenox shots + baby aspirin every day. I wasn’t planning on sharing this picture, it’s totally gross, but I want to have it on record for future pregnancies and to remember what I was doing with this pregnancy. The doctors had me on progesterone during ovulation this time around and then I stopped around 14 weeks. One doctor told me that it was probably overkill to be on progesterone. Every other doctor out here in Texas has told me to stay on Lovenox + baby aspirin every day. I’m trying to master these shots so I don’t have as many bruises, but I still have yet to figure it out! But it truly is worth every injection if it means it’ll help keep this babe healthy! I’m so grateful for modern medicine and what they are able to do these days to help with this whole process. These babies are so so worth it. This doctor won’t let me go passed 39 weeks this time around so this baby’s due date keeps getting bumped up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So blessed to be pregnant with this baby girl!! Can’t wait for her to get here!

 

Xo,

Aubrey

16 weeks

April 19, 2017 in Adventures / Lifestyle

Texas is so dreamy sometimes. A few weeks ago we found this beautiful tulip festival nuzzled away on a far away country road. We packed a picnic + a few friends and loved every minute of this adventure!

FHE Toddler Edition: Lesson #10

April 9, 2017 in Family Home Evening Lessons / Uncategorized

First off, I have had so many sweet and wonderful comments about these little FHE lessons I made. Thank you so much! I have tried to think of ways for you to just be able to have a downloadable version with all the lessons. But until I can figure out the best way to do that (and to make it look cute), we will continue with these posts as often as I can! (Plus, it holds our little family accountable in doing FHE too!)

I love hearing your experiences so let me know what has worked/not worked with these lessons with your family! I love hearing feedback! You all are so wonderful! Here is lesson 10.

(Amanda G photography)

Lesson #10: Popcorn Popping

Opening Prayer

Opening Song: Popcorn Popping

Scripture: Genesis 1:11-13

Lesson: Talk about the creation and how Heavenly Father created beautiful things for us to enjoy. Show items of wood or paper and explain that they are made from trees.

Activity: Go for a nature walk and point out all kinds of flowers and trees. Bring a leaf home to trace or glue their ‚Äúleaf‚ÄĚ collection on a paper.

Closing Prayer

Treat: Popcorn OR if it’s warm go out for snow cones.

 

Gender Reveal

March 9, 2017 in Lifestyle

“I’m pretty sure I saw a little sign of a boy just there.” I said to my doctor at my 14 week ultrasound. “I’m pretty sure I did too” she said back with like ZERO hesitation.

I was thrilled! I think my perspective has been a little changed this passed year with my miscarriages because I will do anything just for a healthy baby. Blue or pink, I’ll take anything!

My last miscarriage was due to Trisomy 15 so they wanted me to do a blood test to check genetics which would also reveal the gender at 99.9%.

That week I was certain we were having a boy and getting so excited to get all of R’s old clothes and baby stuff out again. I picked out a few boy names I loved, and in my head I was having a boy! (My mother intuition is ALWAYS off… let’s just say that!)

I called the doctor’s as soon as results were in (I’m not one much for surprises, but I’m all about surprising other people!) and with my mind in boy mode I hear: “It looks like it’s a princess!” she said.

“Wait, what?” I was shocked! But still just as excited!!

I called my sweet friend up who had the genius idea of making scratch off cards to reveal the gender. (Thanks Caitlin!!) She made some and sent them to all my family. Slow mail is my love language so it was seriously so perfect. I made everyone video tape themselves when they were scratching it off and then compiled a video of everyone’s reactions. It seriously made me cry to make because well, first of all, I just felt so blessed to have made it this far, and second because I just have such a supportive family. And let’s be honest – sometimes distance and pregnancy give you all the feels.

So here’s to you baby girl! We are¬†so excited to meet you!

Xo,

Aubrey

 

 

Pregnancy After Miscarriages

February 26, 2017 in Lifestyle

We are so excited to be announcing another baby coming in August!!

Pregnancy after a couple miscarriages is a little bit interesting. I’ve shut a lot of myself off to the world because it’s such a tender thing and every day I wake up grateful to still be pregnant. Each day is filled with anxiety and a full effort to push away fears and just allow myself to embrace each healthy day.

The first time I heard a healthy heart beat my eyes just welled up with tears. It was the first time in about 4 years that I didn’t hear a suffering heart beat, or knowing I was pregnant and hearing nothing but my own. Happy tears have been a regular thing these days and I just feel oh, so grateful.

I also write with a big lump in my throat. I have had multiple breakdowns just thinking about announcing because my heart goes out to a lot of you. This passed year has allowed me to connect with SO many of you who are suffering through infertility or loss. I’ve had so much support from those going through similar things. I almost don’t want to ever say anything because I’ve felt that “sting” before when you’re scrolling and see someone else get a blessing that you’ve longed and prayed for, for so long. I don’t want to be that sting to those of you who are suffering. I’ve come to learn the difference between empathy and sympathy and my heart truly feels for those with breaking hearts. So I hope that if you’re reading this and are in that situation, that you know how much I love and pray for you. My heart completely goes out to you and I hope that as you read along my journey that it gives you hope for your own journey and we can continue to cheer each other on.

These pictures mean everything to me because of ALL my babies. I feel so blessed that everything is healthy so far and pray with all my heart that we will have the chance to hold a healthy baby at the end of this.

Thank you all who have been so sweet. Growing a family has the hardest thing I’ve had to do physically and emotionally so far and I feel so grateful for all the prayers and love that has been sent our way! We truly feel so much gratitude and love for so many of you and will keep you posted!

Xo,

Aubrey

PS. If you look close (on the very last picture), you can see two tiny baby hands in a praying position in the ultra sound too! I thought it was so cute. We’re all praying for each other!

 

First Moments

December 23, 2016 in Love Notes

This week I celebrated my little one’s 3rd birthday. How am I already on the 3rd year of my motherhood!? I still feel like I am brand new, yet I can’t imagine what life was like before becoming a mom.

Having a Christmas baby was my favorite. Not only did I bring him home in a stocking, or had the chance¬†to snuggle my newborn under the Christmas lights, but I grew a HUGE love and respect for Mary as we celebrate Christ’s birth. ¬†What an honor and trust that the Lord had in her! I can’t help but imagine that “first moment” she had when she got to hold Jesus for the first time. Can you imagine? Holding the Savior of the world for the very first time?!

That moment has always been so beautiful to me. The second where you get to see and hold your baby for the first time. Whether you gave birth to a child in water, on a hospital bed, or on the side of the road, there is just something so beautiful about those first moments.

Every year I love collecting and posting those first moments that some of you have had. These always bring tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for all of you who shared these. Whether we birth our own children or become a mom in other ways, there is just something so amazing about it.

I’ll stop talking and let you just see what I’m talking about:

{Samantha Holmes Photography}

{Cascio Photography}

{Mamahood Photography}

{Chelsea Lee Photography}

 

(All moms above gave me permission to post. All professional photographers should be tagged, please e-mail me if you notice a mistake or change needing to be made. themamahoodblog@gmail.com)

 

Thanks to all of you who shared such beautiful moments! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!!

Xo,

Aubrey

 

 

The Mamahood Christmas Giveaway

December 12, 2016 in Love Notes

MAMAs!!! I’m trying not to shout, but I’m so excited! This is probably one of the biggest giveaways I’ve done and I’m so excited because I KNOW how much it’ll benefit one of you. And I get the chance to spoil one of you for Christmas (which really is the fun part for me)!

I put a lot of thought into this and wanted to do¬†products that I’ve tested and LOVE as well as what I think any mama needs and would be thrilled to win!

So with that said, I picked my two favorite products and companies. The winner will get a Fawn Design bag + a clutch and stroller hooks, and a 2016 City Select stroller (which is the Ferrari of strollers) in Quartz from The Baby Cubby! (Total prize worth over $700)

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Here’s how it’s going to work:

  1. To enter post a recent picture (from today or tomorrow) on Instagram telling me why you want to win this giveaway. Use hashtag #spoilmethischristmas¬†(If you are private you’ll need to tap on the (…) on the top right of your picture and e-mail it to me at themamahoodblog@gmail.com). Your picture can be of anything from a selfie with your kids, to your baby bump, or someone you would give it to if you won, or anything you can think. Just make sure to tell me why you want it! This is the first part of the giveaway and will close on December 13th at 11:59PM CST so make sure to post before then!
  2. 10 top contestants will be chosen and I will post them to my instagram account (@the.mamahood) on Wednesday, December 14th and the voting will begin! The person with the most likes on their photo by Friday the 16th at 11:59PM CST will be the WINNER!
  3. BONUS: to add 10 extra votes to your picture – just sign up for The Baby Cubby’s newsletter by clicking (HERE¬†and scrolling to the bottom of the page to add your e-mail) To keep track of this please leave a comment on this post saying you did that along with what your instagram name is.

Please note: Only the likes on @the.mamahood instagram will count as votes for the finalists. US citizens only. Please no cheating or buying likes, ain’t nobody got time for that! This giveaway is sponsored by Fawn Design and The Baby Cubby. We want to give a huge THANK YOU to them for sponsoring such an awesome giveaway! Winner will get a 2016 City Select in Quartz and a color of their choice of what’s in stock of a Fawn Design bag (plus accessories).

Good Luck!!! So excited for this and can’t wait to spoil one of you this Christmas!

Xo,

Aubrey

 

 

The Moment He Called Me Mom

December 7, 2016 in For Mamas

I’m so excited to be collaborating with an amazing company called Stiry to help with these mama spotlights! They are ALL about sharing the good and sharing stories that stir.

Today we are spotlighting this sweet mama of a boy with Autism. Kristen is one of my dear friends and her little Nash just melts me. I remember talking with Kristen when she first realized that Nash had Autism and her strength blew me away. She’s a mom that gets up and tries her best over and over and over again and I’m so thankful for her beautiful example.

Here’s her story:

 

 

(to see more inspiring videos, head to Stiry on FB too!)

Xo,

Aubrey

Unplugged.

December 6, 2016 in Love Notes

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Have you ever driven somewhere in pure silence? (Minus the few baby/kids noise in the back seat). Or took a day off from social media? Or left your phone home for the day?

Unplugged.

Something I am a HUGE advocate of.

Everyone’s life is busy, am I right? Find me one person who isn’t because I seriously can’t. We all are running everywhere, putting our kids in every extra curricular activity, trying out new hobbies, updating our phones to the latest and greatest, constantly scrolling through Instagram while we “wait” at the doctors because we don’t know what else to do with our minds to kill time.

Noise. There is just so much noise…and it’s taking over.

I currently have quite a lot on my plate as well, so my mind is going a hundred miles an hour and I feel like I’m on a freight train sometimes!

Here’s the thing. We have the chance to stop a lot of the noise around us. And you wanta know a secret?

It’s amazing when we do.

Here’s a few things I’ve done that have helped clear my mind and soul in unplugging:

  1. Social media fasts. I don’t ever “announce” when I go on one but I do it where I will either not get on at all that day(s) or I’ll just delete the apps that my mind has spent way too much time on. I notice the days that I don’t get on, I’m actually pretty dang content with life and feel like I have it pretty good. I’m all about using social media for good, but sometimes it’s so great to unplug from it all and realize the good that’s right in front of you instead of¬†comparing other’s “good” to your own “good”.
  2. Check your tech. My little family has a “Check your tech jar” to put our phones in. No phones from 6-8 and although we aren’t super strict on the actual jar, it has been an amazing reminder to spend that time with each other. An average person spends 7 hours a DAY on technology. That’s insane to me. 2 hours to spend together is nothing, but has meant everything!
  3. Drive without music sometimes. I say sometimes because I can’t live without music, but I’ve noticed on days that I’m super stressed, if I just turn off the music in the car, it helps my mind clear a little bit.
  4. Find a substitute.¬†By this I mean, find something in place of scrolling on social media. Have you ever been scrolling and all of a sudden you look up and a half hour has passed by? (I’m guilty!) And then you feel like you didn’t get anything done? Whether it be a new hobby you want to try or diving into a book, I love filling my time with these and feeling like I accomplished something.
  5. Get outside.¬†Studies have shown that those who spend time outside are more likely to feel happier and heal better. I think sunshine is good for the soul and allows us to teach our kids about nature and connect that to God. Have you ever seen a beautiful sunset, or an incredible rainstorm? If we put our phones down, we won’t miss as many and we allow ourselves to breathe.

I could go off about how much unplugging has helped my personal life, my relationship with the Lord, my relationship with my husband and family, and loving my own set of cards in my life by not trying to keep up with everything I see when I scroll.

Social media can be SUCH an amazing tool, but it can also become controlling if we allow it. It’s so easy to get sucked in! But I think there’s a whole lot of a life we can gain back if we unplug for a minute and just…be.

 

Monday Mama: Jenna

November 14, 2016 in Love Notes / Monday Mama

You guys, I’m giddy!!! I haven’t done Monday Mama’s in SO long and after a popular vote, I decided to start back up again and start spotlighting moms on my blog. These stories are to help us find our own bravery in motherhood and I’ve found a handful of moms who have shown that and I can’t wait to share their stories with you.

Today’s post is near and dear to my heart because it involves a family that I love dearly.

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Today I am spotlighting cute Jenna Richards, who actually married one of my friends that grew up down the street from me. She is from Shelley, Idaho and after being married to Chase for just a short time, he passed away. She has been able to survive this heart-breaking time with her beautiful little boy named Jack and gave me permission to share her story with all of you.

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“I’ve only shared my story once, and to be honest, I don’t even know where to begin… But on April 2nd, 2016, my life forever changed.

On Saturday, April 2nd, my husband, Chase, was supposed to pick Jack and I up in Brigham City, UT.¬† We had been at my parents‚Äô house, but we were going to meet Chase¬†sometime¬†around noon¬†to eat at¬†our favorite restaurant,¬†¬†Maddox, and¬†head back home. That morning I texted him¬†at 7:30¬†to see if he was awake and ask¬†what time I should head out. I didn‚Äôt hear anything back. By¬†9:30, I called and texted again, but still no word.¬† This wasn‚Äôt like him, but¬†I still wasn‚Äôt too worried¬†because I¬†assumed¬†he was sleeping in due to working early mornings¬†all week.¬†¬†By¬†11:00,¬†and still no answer, I knew something was wrong. I¬†then¬†texted his Dad and asked if he‚Äôd heard anything from Chase.¬† He said no, but that he would go to our house and make sure everything was okay.¬†¬†He went there¬†with Chase‚Äôs brother, and¬†soon after¬†I received the worst phone call ever. His voice was frantic and he said, ‚ÄúJenna, Chase is unconscious! We‚Äôve called for an ambulance. Come right now!!‚ÄĚ I was frantically running around bawling¬†while¬†trying to pack¬†our bags¬†as fast as I could¬†before heading¬†to Utah. Luckily,¬†my Dad was able to drive us,¬†since I was in no shape to be driving. Truthfully, I don‚Äôt remember the 3-hour drive all that much. I just remember getting updates, then that dreaded message from my Bishop saying Chase was being¬†life-flighted¬†¬†to SLC. Death still wasn‚Äôt on my mind.¬†¬†I was thinking more about what we would possibly have to do for recovery, etc. As soon as we got into SLC though, the reality and panic set in and I immediately grabbed a bag¬†and threw¬†up. It felt like forever to get to the hospital,¬†since it was¬†Conference weekend and the streets were packed. I was getting frantic,¬†wanting to scream out the window, ‚ÄúEVERYONE, PLEASE MOVE!! I started getting agitated and just wanted to get out of the car and start running.¬†When we finally¬†got to the hospital, I jumped out of the car, grabbed Jack,¬†and ran into the lobby. As soon as I walked in, I instantly got dizzy and the nausea kicked back in. I handed Jack to my Dad, ran to the bathroom, and threw up one more time. Maybe deep down I knew it wasn‚Äôt going to be good, and I was scared to face reality.¬†

When I walked into Chase’s room, I was shocked and taken aback, and I knew immediately this was way worse than I could have ever imagined. Within 5 minutes of being there, Chase’s doctor walked in to let us all know things didn’t look good. It was such a strange feeling seeing someone say those words so calm and collected. Shouldn’t this guy be heartbroken to deliver such hard news? I didn’t want to believe his words, so I was grasping for straws at this point, begging people to tell me everything was going to be ok. Deep down I knew he probably wasn’t going to make it, but I refused to believe it and I was not ready to face that reality.

Chase was then placed in a hypothermic state.  The doctors decided they wouldn’t be doing any MRI’s or EEG’s for 24 hours to see if the brain swelling would go down. It was then we found out Chase had aspirated in his sleep, which deprived his brain and other organs of the oxygen they needed for many hours. The next 24 hours were hell. I felt helpless watching Chase hooked up to life support, his body quivering.  The sound of a machine pushing air into his lungs and the ominous, never-ending sound of beeping machines still haunts me. This is something nobody can prepare you for. 

One of my best friends, Kim, rushed to the hospital to take Jack for the night, and by midnight I decided to go sleep for a few hours at a hotel down the street so I could function and be prepared for the next day. On Sunday Chase’s vitals were all looking good, but he was still in a coma and we still had no idea how much brain damage had been done. By this time family and friends started pouring in and showing their support, which was a blessing. I couldn’t have done Sunday without some of my best friends and family by my side. It was a long, emotional and draining day. 

That night I got to spend some alone time with Chase and i just held his hand while I talked to him. I tickled his arm and kept telling him I was there and to not be scared, to just relax, I was right there next to him, and would be throughout everything. 

By Monday morning we knew we’d be getting the news soon on his brain function and I was physically sick. By this time I had hardly eaten in two days and I was exhausted and weak. At noon Elder Oaks came and gave him a beautiful blessing.  As soon as it was over, I knew in my heart Chase was not going to be with us much longer. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I just knew. 

Hours passed and, finally, the doctors pulled us into a room and delivered the news. Chase was showing no brain function. He was brain dead. After he said those words, I just zoned out. I don’t even remember anything else he said. At the end of the conversation, he brought up taking Chase off of life support and then looked at me to get the ok. I shook my head yes with tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t believe it. This was it. Chase was not going to be here much longer with us. 

Before¬†the¬†life support machines were turned off,¬†we all took a turn being¬†alone with him in his room for a private goodbye. I crawled into his bed, laid my head on his chest and sobbed. The tears couldn‚Äôt stop. All I could say was, ‚ÄúChase,¬†I love you so much. I love you so much.‚ÄĚ I promised him I would always take good care of Jack and we would keep his memory alive. I apologized for all of the times I could have been a better wife, and then I gave him a final kiss on his lips. My sister then brought Jack in and we laid on the bed as a family one last time. I couldn‚Äôt believe this would be the last time our baby boy would see his Dad. My heart could hardly handle it. I just remember telling Chase that Jack would always know him, and to please take care of us. That final goodbye was the hardest thing I‚Äôve ever had to do because I knew this would be the last time Jack would ever see his Dad on this earth.¬†

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I walked out, handed Jack to my sister, then went into the corner of the hallway and lost it. I l felt like my life was over.  How was I ever going to overcome such a trial? I had never felt so such despair in my life. I couldn’t believe that this was actually happening to me.  I was angry, sad, and broken.

After everyone had their alone-time with him, we all gathered in the room.¬†¬†Chase and I‚Äôs bishop gave a final prayer before we unplugged him from the machines. The¬†doctor said Chase could go fairly quickly, but we were uncertain. By this time it was¬†around¬†8pm. The nurses came in and unplugged everything.¬† Then we just sat around his bed, held his hand, and spoke to him,¬†hoping he‚Äôd slip away peacefully. Quickly, his breathing became labored and he seemed uncomfortable. About every 30 minutes nurses would come in to give him more sedation and pain meds to make sure he was as comfortable as possible and to keep his body calm. Hours passed, and his body kept fighting. We even said two¬†more¬†prayers pleading with our Heavenly Father to take him, and that we would be ok.¬†¬†Finally¬†at 3:28am, after a 7-hour valiant fight,¬†Chase took his last breath. I remember I was at the end of his bed¬†and I thought I was going to collapse. I had never seen someone die, so to see my own husband pass on was more than I could see or take. My Mom quickly came to my side and held me as I was overcome with emotion. I couldn‚Äôt believe it. Just like that, he was gone. I kept saying over and over, ‚ÄúI can‚Äôt see him like this,¬†Mom, I can‚Äôt see him dead.¬† Just take me home.‚ÄĚ So we tiredly gathered up our things and went out to the car to head home. Since my Mom didn‚Äôt know her way around Salt Lake, I drove her car with her, and my Dad drove his own. I was so numb, I didn‚Äôt even know how to get to the freeway,¬†even though I had done that route hundreds of times. Finally,¬†clear out in West Valley, I got my bearings and made it back to the freeway.¬†

I remember walking in the house at around 4:15 am with the most empty feeling I had ever felt. I knew Jack would be waking in a few short hours and I wasn’t ready to face reality so soon. I went to our bathroom, filled up the tub, and sat in a hot bath as I cried the little bit of tears I had left.  Then I went to Chase’s closet, pulled out his favorite sweats and a big oversized sweater and crawled into bed with his pillow.  The sheets and everything smelled like him, and right then and there, I didn’t want to wake up. I just wanted to go. I know that sounds selfish, but I also wasn’t  thinking clearly and going on very little sleep and food. 

The next few days were a blur as we prepared for Chase’s funeral, picking out his casket, deciding what flowers, and a million other little things. I had no idea how much planning (and money) went into something so depressing. The morning of the viewing Chase’s parents, his brother, Preston, and sister, Laura, and I all gathered to see Chase’s body for the first time since he passed away.  I wasn’t sure if I was ready to see him like that, but I kind of had no choice at this point. We were led into a room where his peaceful body was laying, and I was immediately breathless, sick, and shaking. We said a prayer for peace, then dressed him slowly in his temple clothing that he would be buried in. That moment was surreal, and to be quite honest, one of the harder things I had to do that week. I wasn’t quite prepared for that moment. But then again, is anyone prepared for something like that?

Something life-changing happened when I left the funeral home that day. I remember pulling up to a red light right by Bingham High School and I looked to my right and I made eye contact with a guy in a truck next to me. I instantly thought, ‚Äúthis guy has no idea what I just had to do.‚ÄĚ And right then¬†and there¬†I thought to myself, ‚Äúhow many people have I passed who were facing something so tragic in that very moment and I just walked by them not knowing?‚ÄĚ Because of this experience,¬†I try harder to be kinder and more patient with strangers.¬†

That night was Chase’s viewing.   He had such a huge turnout, along with the funeral the next day. So many people loved Chase and he made friends wherever he went. That was one of Chase’s greatest qualities. He made everyone feel like they were his best friend and always made everyone around him feel so comfortable and special. 

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After the funeral, graveside service, and luncheon, I went to our home, grabbed the last of our stuff, and got on the road to Idaho, since I would be moving back in with my parents so I could get some help with Jack and get back on my feet. 

Fast forward a few months, and here I am today.  Last Sep 6th would have actually been Chase and I’s 2-year anniversary. I can truthfully say the days are getting a little easier. I still have moments with major setbacks. But, for the most part, I am starting to slowly heal. I don’t have that panic like I did those first few months where I literally felt like my soul was broken. Not that I still don’t feel that way sometimes, but I am starting to take baby steps towards a new life without Chase. And that doesn’t mean I have to forget about him to start a new beginning, because he will always be in the back of my mind until the day I die.

I guess if I have learned one thing from this experience, it’s to always trust my Heavenly Father’s plan. His plan was obviously different than what I had in mind.   He sees the whole picture and I have to put my trust in his hands. After all, he gave his own life so I could endure this trial. My testimony has grown leaps and bounds since Chase’s passing, and sometimes I feel guilty that it took something so tragic to wake me up. But I am thankful for the many blessings and tender mercies that have come my way since April 2nd. So many life changes, mostly hard, but some, oh, so good and life altering.

 

Like Robert D. Hales said:

 

Won‚Äôt all of us, sometime, have reason to ask, ‚ÄúO God, where art thou?‚ÄĚ Yes! When a spouse dies, a companion will wonder. When financial hardship befalls a family, a father will ask. When children wander from the path, a mother and father will cry out in sorrow. Yes, ‚Äúweeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.‚ÄĚ Then, in the dawn of our increased faith and understanding, we arise and choose to wait upon the Lord, saying, ‚ÄúThy will be done”.”

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Before Chase passed away, Jenna started Munchies which is a baby clothing company. Chase was the one who really pushed her to go for it. She has a passion for baby fashion and finding good deals so she created a company of cute affordable baby clothes. Her whole site and work has been dedicated to Chase since he was her motivation behind it and gave her the confidence to go for it. She knows that she has Chase watching over her and baby Jack for the rest of their lives and holds onto that.

 

(You can find her over at @jackandjennablog)

Xo,

Aubrey

 

 

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