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26 Weeks

May 15, 2017 in Family

Baby size: Length of a green onion

Weight gain: 21 pounds

Sleep: It’s gotten better. I’ve learned ways to prop myself up pretty good so my back doesn’t kill.

Cravings: Oh, I could eat sugar all day long. But I feel like I’m like that even when I’m not pregnant.

Feeling: I feel good! Other than the usual aches of pregnancy my body has felt good. Emotional-wise? I think I have a little pre-baby blues, is that possible? I have bad anxiety of having PPD and spiralling fast into dark days like I did with my first. It terrifies me but I’m trying to do everything I can to get myself out of that and be prepared beforehand. This babe is coming in the heat of summer instead of the dead of winter, so it will hopefully be a little different on my emotions. (Crossing fingers!!)

Peak Moment: Going on a date with Shey. That’s always a peak moment in my book. It’s just refreshing to go out!
Body changes: I feel a tiny bit of swelling, not a ton. I also feel like a whale when I try to roll from one side to the other when I’m trying to sleep.

Doctor/Health Update: Everything is looking good! I feel so blessed you guys. Really truly. I was on pins and needles for so many months and now I am just trying to enjoy pregnancy because it’s something I really miss when I’m not pregnant! Next appt will be at 28 weeks for my glucose test. I’ve been nesting like crazy so hope that motivation sticks around for awhile!;)

Xo,

Aubrey

Family Pictures 2016

September 9, 2016 in Family

We recently got our family pictures done by the beautiful Amanda from Amanda G. Photography. She was whipping out all the stops and tricks to get our two year old to smile and not move at a hundred miles an hour. She was the best! Love these two so so much!

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[Dress: Shop Stevie – click here to get yours!]

Xo,

Aubrey

God Needs Brave Moms

August 3, 2016 in Family / Love Notes

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The other morning I woke up with half of my mouth swollen. One of the joys of pregnancy is inflammation of your gums and they can easily get infection…so when I went in for an emergency dentist visit, that was my diagnosis.

“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” she said.

“Nope. But I have been the passed year.”

I was calculating the other day how long my body has had pregnancy hormones. It’s been almost a year and my journey gets to continue. I don’t talk the details too much because I’m in the middle of it and it’s pretty tender to me, but this week I’ve had some kind of doctor appointment every day and Friday will be my 5th surgery this year. I’ve been told that my body can get pregnant easy but has a hard time carrying and might need medical intervention to get my babies here. We are currently waiting to hear back from some tests and know exactly which steps to take. It’s been quite a road for our little family.

But I’ve come to learn that it all really is okay.

Why?

Because God needs brave moms and if this is what I have to go through to become brave, I’ll do it.

So bring on more needles, surgeries, weight gain, more bad news and empty feelings. I got this. Being far from family has been difficult but we have a village here helping us every step of the way and my heart is filled to the brim with gratitude for those who have helped in so many different ways. (You know who you are, I love you!!)

EVERY mom person has some kind of “hard” to go through. My heart aches as I watch those who go through such heart breaking tragedies. I believe that our trials are tailored to us specifically and as I learn of what others go through, I gladly take my load because so many people have it pretty tough. You can’t compare trials but you can have compassion for others and gratitude for your own.

So maybe hard is okay. Maybe hard teaches us more than anything else would. Maybe it’s shaping us into someone better. And maybe… just maybe, all of this will teach me how to be brave.

Xo,

Aubrey

(These thoughts sparked after listening to a segment of THIS amazing talk.)

I’m back + 4th of July in Squares

July 12, 2016 in Family / Uncategorized

Hello world!

This blog has been on a pretty big break recently and I can’t say that I’m mad about it. It is exactly what I’ve been needing and has allowed me to get through a few things going on in our crazy busy lives recently.

In a nutshell, we travelled for about a month, sent Shey’s (my husband) parents off to be mission presidents in Mexico, celebrated my baby sister’s wedding, bought our first home in a small town in Texas, lost another pregnancy + found out some hard news that I’m not ready to talk about yet, started potty training, made homemade limeade everyday, and have had so many angels help us in so many different ways.

So I hope you’ll stick with me as I try to get back into the groove of writing again. The passed few years I’ve been writing about everything motherhood. I still will write about that since it’s a huge part of me and my little boy is my whole world, but that topic stings just a little bit right now. The passed few months I’ve had this nagging feeling to open up a little bit more about my family and the life we choose to live. It’s nothing extreme or out of the ordinary. It’s actually a pretty simple life. We find the biggest joys out of the smallest things and we choose to live a way that makes us happy.

If you’re new here, welcome! You will find that this blog is pretty raw, and as you get to know me I would love to get to know YOU. If you’ve been here awhile, I hope you like the new transition and would love to hear your feedback!

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I won’t lie, the time I miss home the most is the 4th of July. There’s something about Utah during that time that is so magical. (plus… the 24th is like round 2! Can’t beat it!) But this year ended up being so much fun. The day of the 4th a big Texas storm came rollin’ in, so we had a “re-do” with the parade and more fireworks on the 9th! Shey’s brother stayed with us one of the nights and we’ve been swimming our lives away! The city’s fireworks happen to be at a perfect view from our porch so it was the perfect ending to the best week!

Here was our 4th in squares:

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I hope you all had the best 4th of July!

Xo,

Aubrey

My Miracle

January 7, 2016 in Family

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I’m a strong believer in miracles. You see them everywhere whether it be with someone who is sick with a terminal disease and beats the odds, or those who miraculously survive a car accident that shouldn’t have. They happen everyday and it’s amazing to hear those stories.

Since I’ve had lots of people asking me for an update, I thought I would tell you about it on here.

At 8 weeks I found out my little baby was really struggling. Heart rate was 85 and was only measuring 6 weeks. The odds of having a healthy pregnancy were 20%.  The week after I went in again for another sonogram, I saw the numbers drop to 75 for the heart rate and knew odds weren’t going to be in my favor. Part of me thought that if I somehow put myself on some kind of “bed rest” that everything would magically be okay again. I laid in bed for days and those days turned into weeks. I would wake up and forget that I was going to lose my baby so it was like hearing the news over and over. I knew time was limited, so I would hold my toddler knowing I was holding 2 babies. I would rock him every night knowing I was rocking for 2. I considered everyday a gift. The hardest part was knowing how close they were physically but how far away it seemed until they would actually get to meet.

Right now? I’m 12 weeks. Still. But this week they couldn’t find a heartbeat. You’re probably wondering why I consider this a miracle. (Believe me it’s taken a few long days to figure it out.)

As hard as all of this is to type out, when we first heard the news I felt relieved that this baby doesn’t have to deal with physical disabilities. After the ultra sound lady held my hand and hugged me, I went into the bathroom and thanked my Heavenly Father for the time I got to hold that baby. A feeling of gratitude filled my heart when I realized the warm welcome my baby got up in heaven so recently. I believe a person is a person no matter how small (thanks dr. suess!) and I know that I will get to hold that baby again someday. You guys — THAT’s my miracle. And that’s why I believe in miracles with all my heart because not only do we get to be with our babies and families after this life but we also have a loving Savior who gives us a reason to be happy and holds us when our lives seem shattered.

He’s been holding me and is the source of any strength that I have.

So yes, I am a believer in miracles. Even when they come in ways we might not understand at the time. I’m a believer in a loving God who has a divine partnership to help moms. I feel that everyday and have grown to have a closer relationship with Him because motherhood is hard and I can’t do it without Him. (If you want to learn more of what I believe click HERE)

I know that no one talks about miscarriage. I get why. It’s heartbreaking to talk about. I’m looking through magnifying tears as I type this. But I’ve also learned how common it really is and have gained so many wonderful friends and support of those who have gone through it too. (Thank you to everyone who has reached out… I could hug you all!)

The day before we went to the doctors and they couldn’t find a heartbeat, we took some family pictures. Mostly for me, I wasn’t planning on really sharing them. Nobody takes maternity pictures at 12 weeks, and I wasn’t thrilled about putting on makeup that day, but I knew days were limited and I wanted to celebrate this baby in some way. Now when I look through them I am reminded of all of my many blessings and that one day I’ll get to hold that little baby again.

…and that’s my miracle.

Xo,

Aubrey

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Keeping it Simple

January 4, 2016 in Family / For Babies + Kids

For those of you who know me, know that I’m pretty simple. I dress simple, I laugh at simple things, and am always trying new ways to simplify my life. So when it came to my child’s birthday, I secretly dreaded it because everything on Pinterest was the farthest FROM simple.(if you want to see the Pinterest disaster of last year’s cake smash click HERE)

Also — Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like parties have changed over the years? What happened to “Don’t Eat Pete” and “Pin The Tail on the Donkey”?!

I’m all for making beautiful parties. I love throwing themed parties, and showers can be so fun when you go all out. But I’m also all for the simpleness of a fun day out and the company of great friends and family. So when we went to the aquarium and had a few cupcakes it was perfect for this mom and perfect for those two year old little eyes. He was in heaven and to me that’s all that mattered.


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Xo,

Aubrey

Family Date Nights

August 24, 2015 in Family / Uncategorized

Since living in Texas our date nights consist of having a cute little 3rd wheel tagging along with us. We usually do something with just the 3 of us every single Friday night. Last week we went to the balloon festival and it turned out so fun! (minus the melted ice cream that got all over us). We kinda have a thing for hot air balloons since Shey proposed to me in one. We also went in one when I was pregnant and wanted to do a really “cute” announcement in the hot air balloon with 3 fingers and Shey pointing at my belly… you guys. Worst. Idea. Ever. I passed out and stayed on the floor of the basket the entire ride. (We never used that picture to announce btw but we still laugh about it).

 

 


 

 

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I also have to tell you my most FAVORITE place to shop for clothes right now. If you haven’t heard of Roolee Boutique, seriously head over to their website, no… RUN over to their website because they have some of the cutest stuff ever and the quality is amazing. Did I mention their prices are awesome too? My shirt and shoes are from there. Leather sleeves?! I die. I follow their instagram pretty religiously so make sure to check that out too! (click HERE) They don’t disapoint. You can thank me later. 😉

Xo,

Aubrey

Happy Anni: 3rd Edition

June 8, 2015 in Family / For Mamas

 

 

I love reading about other people’s love stories or how it all worked out. My story is a little different then most. I’ll spare you and leave the long dramatic details out. But I married my first date.  Sounds like cake right? I’m pretty sure it was actually one of the craziest roads of my life. Here’s a readers digest version:

 

I met this handsome when I was 15.

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After dating in high school we went our separate ways. There was a time when we didn’t see each other for a few years (I called off a wedding that was headed for disaster during that time). There were some pretty painful years and we both had a lot of growing up to do. Then one day we happened to cross paths after 4 years. Timing is everything because after 8 years of knowing each other, this time was perfect. It’s never felt like that with anyone I had ever dated.

We quickly got engaged and married 2 months later. 3 apartments, 1 baby, 1 bachelor’s degree, a few jobs, 2 states, and a million laughs later, I’ve come to love him more than I ever thought I could. He will hate me for bragging about him, but I honestly couldn’t be a mom without all that he does and the support he gives to me (my heart goes out to those moms who have to do it alone). He’ll be exhausted from work and look at my tired eyes from a restless night or long day and tell me to go lay down or take a break. There’s no one I would ever be able to do this life with. He makes my world bright even on the darkest days and knows how to get passed my stubborn ‘tude and make me laugh my hardest laugh.

Happy 3rd anniversary to the kid I still love to pull pranks on and flirt with.

 

(videos: Haugen Creative)

Here are some of my top fav memories with you from even from our old school days (I usually do this in my notes to him on our anniversary but thought I’d share a couple…don’t mind the cheese fest!):

1. When I was 15, you were 16 and I thought you were the coolest thing to be able to drive.

2. One time I called you after we just met and you answered “Al’s plumbing?” and I hung up immediately thinking I called the wrong number.

3. When I disguised a dog treat as a chocolate dessert and you actually took a bite out of it on April Fool’s Day. (ha! I still laugh so hard remembering the face you pulled after you realized what you just ate.)

4. Getting “busted” by the cops for trespassing and you told me to run and hide while you walked in front of his headlights so that you would be the one to get in trouble instead of me.

5. Sitting in A.P. history and passing folded “notes” back and forth, my laugh would get me in trouble every time.

6. Sneaking a kiss in the photography developing room…no wonder that was your favorite class!

7. After the 4 years of not seeing each other you asked me out on a “catch up date” and we celebrated my birthday, Christmas, and other holidays to catch up for the lost time. We drove down the canyon, favorite tunes on and windows down. I can’t describe it other than feeling completely alive. Loved that night!

8. You proposing in the hot air balloon, and then when we went a year later and I was pregnant and blacked out almost needing an emergency landing. Ha! Total fail thinking it would be a cool pregnancy announcement.

9. Watching you be a dad for the first time. I used to force newborns in your arms so that you could practice (haha! I’m so rude.) Come to find out, the newborn thing was more your thing than mine and you’re a total natural. Nothing sweeter than watching you be a dad.

10. Going on road trips, dates, and crazy adventures with you. Love making “big” plans and actually following through. Can’t wait for the ones we have coming soon.

Love you forever Charlie Brown.

Xo,

Aubs

Mama Fail: Butterfly Exhibit

May 14, 2015 in Family

I’m sorry but I’m blogging this story almost instantly after it happened because I can’t stop replaying it in my head and laughing to myself.

So, there is this really cool exhibit that happens every spring where they release thousands of butterflies in a tent and kids can go feed, hold, and watch these beautiful creatures. It sounds almost romantic, doesn’t it?

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It really was….until the end.

First of all, just to give you an idea…you walk in and butterflies are everywhere and some will land on your head. My friend had about 20 all flapping their wings on her head because she was wearing a bright pink bandana. It’s hard not to laugh but amazing at the same time!

The first thing they told me when we bought tickets was that my baby-toddler was supposed to stay in my arms….ya, right. That didn’t last. He was loving chasing and holding all these creatures! I was trying so hard to make sure he was being careful and good. And he was….for the most part.

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  (this is him feeding a butterfly from a distance.)

He loved holding them, so as I was trying to get him to hold still for a sec so I could take a beautiful butterfly picture. (First time mom over here!)

Next thing I know, he grasps tight to both sides of the wings with 2 hands and YANKS the wings completely off this poor butterfly! It was morbid. I almost was in tears.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, 2 seconds after that we went to another part of the tent and somehow managed to knock down an entire wall of flowers that had hundreds of butterflies all perched up on them. (Are. You. Kidding!?) We made the biggest scene. It’s one of those moments where you want to just get out of your own body because it made this huge crash and everyone looked at my kid like he was the world’s biggest nature murderer!

I died. I just stared at the mess we made with dirt, flowers, and butterflies everywhere just waiting for some handcuffs to be placed around my wrists from a security cop. One sweet lady (who was probably a mom) started instantly helping me put flowers back and looked at me and said, “You know, stuff like this happens. Don’t you even worry.”

We left the exhibit shortly after.

Moral of the story:

1. Don’t pull the wings off of butterflies.

2. Be nice to the mom who wants to climb out of her own skin whether it’s because of a tantrum, mess, or if her child just destroyed a butterfly exhibit. We’ve all been there. And if you haven’t been there yet, when it does happen…I’ll be the one to help you pick up your flowers.

 

Xo,

Aubrey

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My Story: Never Alone

October 28, 2014 in Family / For Mamas

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After talking to a friend about the adjustment period of being a new mom, I have the urge to finally tell my story and explain the whole reasoning behind starting this blog.

I have a canvas in my room of my family of 3 that I absolutely love of when my baby was first born. But I also have a hard time looking at it because it was a really hard time of life for me. I feel guilty for even saying that because I’m holding the most beautiful and precious baby in the world and something that so many only wish and hope for every day.

I always dreamed of becoming a mom but it always seemed like a distant dream. I watched my sisters raise kids and it felt like it would be a long way down the road before I even had kids.

After being married only 9 short months, we had a feeling to get pregnant and I was terrified. I know that so many struggle having kids and having miscarriages, and my heart goes out to those moms completely. I thought I would be one of them to be honest. I remember getting to 12 weeks and being completely shocked that we made it far enough to tell people.

Our baby was a miracle baby and if we didn’t deliver in the hospital he wouldn’t have survived. I’m so grateful for the day and age that we live in.

The hospital? A dream. They took care of my baby while I just held him, fed him, and then they watched over him while I slept.

Once we got the green light to go home, reality hit…as it does to most.

Breastfeeding wasn’t working, I had mastitis, thrush, and infections all over. I broke out in hives and wasn’t sure what it was from so I stopped injecting the shots I was told to give myself for a blood disorder. We weren’t doing enough skin-to-skin, he was spitting up and crying like he was in a lot of pain. My husband would wake up with me during every feeding (bless his heart) to help me get through nursing as big tear drops would fall on my baby’s face and I would try so hard not to let him hear me cry as my tense body writhed in the hardest pain I had felt since labor. I think I drove my lactation specialist crazy because every time I would go in, I was that “hard” case she had to deal with. (She was a complete sweetheart to me though and I’m so grateful how kind her heart was to a sobbing new mom)

Wasn’t this supposed to be enjoyable?

The physical pain and being tired on top of that was hard for me. However, the hormones that are completely out of whack added to the pile. I’m not trying to sugar coat anything, but the morbid thoughts were real and I felt dark all around me, all the time. I stopped eating. (I’m sure that helped when trying to feed another human being!) I lost 25 pounds (including baby) in a few weeks and was completely weak. I had zero energy, appetite, and was completely stressed with keeping a little infant alive I would forget to take care of myself. I couldn’t comprehend my life or who I even was anymore. It’s hard to explain but I felt like I was thrown in the Nile river without a lifejacket or even knowing how to swim. I remember calling the nurse and sobbing uncontrollably and in the most sympathetic tone she told me that I was doing a good job and everything would be alright and to start medicine if I wanted to. (I ordered the prescription but never ended up taking it… although I’m a firm believer in getting help!)

I don’t want this part to sound dramatic, but I remember one day I was trying to eat something and feeling so weak that I collapsed on the couch and my plate of food fell out of my hands. I have a picture of the Savior in my house that was in our hallway. I remember my husband was at work, baby was asleep and after I had collapsed on the couch, I looked up with complete helpless tears in my eyes and said to the picture of Christ “Am I going to die?”. It sounds irrational, I know, but I really thought it was possible. I felt alone because I was trying to do it alone.

That night, the picture of Christ was my strength and I was somehow able to keep going.

There’s a quote by Elder Bednar that I love:

“We are not and never need be alone. We can press forward in our daily lives with heavenly help. Through the Savior’s Atonement we can receive capacity and “strength beyond [our] own”

That night I realized that I couldn’t do it alone. I still can’t do it alone. Motherhood is a HUGE opportunity and calling that no one can do it alone. For me, I rely on the Lord to help me each and every day. Even 10 months later when things have gotten a LOT better, I still worry about my peanut and want him to be able to tell people that he had a mom that never gave up on the Lord. Even if I’m falling into shambles on the couch;)

To my new mom friends – hang in there. You got this. Don’t give up. You stay strong. It DOES get easier, and it IS worth it.

I echo Bednar: Through the Savior’s Atonement we can receive capacity and strength beyond our own.”

You are never alone. <3

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